• Homework: Do me do me.
  • Internet: Don’t listen to that slut.
  • one third of me: I want a boyfriend so much, relationships are so cute
  • one third of me: sex sex sex I want sex fuck relationships lets be slutty lol
  • one third of me: fuck everyone I hate people kill yourselves

My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard this.

  • Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
  • Brother: that's not fair
  • Mom: DO AS I SAY.
  • Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
  • Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
  • Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.
zackisontumblr:

I thought my Mom’s contact ID was pretty clever…

zackisontumblr:

I thought my Mom’s contact ID was pretty clever…

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